


One of the Family

by SonjaJade



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Gen, Hazing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-27
Updated: 2017-03-27
Packaged: 2018-10-11 11:55:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10464324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonjaJade/pseuds/SonjaJade
Summary: If Miles was going to be one of the family, he better make it through his hazing.





	

**Author's Note:**

> FMA Fic Contest Prompt: "Yup, you pass."

“That being said, we’ll be leaving for Ishval in a week.  I expect to see all of you at precisely 0600 hours at platform 3C.  You’re dismissed until then.”  Lt. Gen. Mustang’s men snapped a salute and watched as he and Capt. Hawkeye exited the now fully packed and empty office they used to inhabit.

And then they all turned to Col. Miles.

The apparent Ishvallan looked calmly at the round Captain who leaned smugly up against another Captain’s wheelchair.  The other two were Lieutenants, one of which had been sent to Briggs before the Promised Day.  “Can I help you boys with something?” Miles asked politely as he looked back at them.

Capt. Braeda smirked, “Y’know, before the promised day and before Havoc here had his accident, the four of us were as tight as brothers.  In every assignment Mustang gave us, we operated like a well oiled machine.”

This time Miles smirked.  “At Briggs, _all_ soldiers work as a well oiled machine.”

Falman stepped forward and said, “True, but having been at both places I can tell you that in the bureaucratic paperwork department that we have, that isn’t a luxury we’re often afforded.  Many of our colleagues in the other departments in this building have never seen combat or done anything past push paper.  We’re sort of a special group.”

“So you’re telling me that being stationed in Central is about as cushy as a civilian office job.”  Miles laughed.  “No wonder Gen. Armstrong thinks so little of Mustang.”

“While that’s true about being stationed in Central, working under Mustang is _not_ that way.” Havoc said as he dragged on his cigarette.  “He’s always keeping his ear to the ground for anything that’s more exciting than paperwork.”

“The point is,” Braeda grumbled, “if you’re going to be part of our family and really fit in tight with the rest of the machine, there’s a couple of things you gotta do.”

“Are you implying that a higher ranking officer has to bend to the will of four subordinates in a rite of passage?” Miles asked with narrowed eyes.

“We all did it, regardless of rank, Colonel.  Even Mustang’s done it,” answered Fuery.  “It’s not about rank.  It’s about being part of something bigger than that.”

“It’s about leaving your Briggs family behind and showing that you’re committed to your new family that’s about to be in Ishval.  We need to know that our lives are safe in your hands,” Braeda said as the others nodded.  “Remember, it wasn’t very long ago that we had homunculi in our military.  Our trust is hard won because of all the soldiers in the army, we knew the truth.”

Miles nodded.  “I understand.  I’d be happy to prove my loyalty to those who would rebuild my ancestral homeland.”

The others grinned as Havoc crowed, “Brief him, boys!”

* * *

The list wasn’t as complicated as Miles thought it would be, though the ‘missions’ had to be completed before leaving for Ishval.  Be the last one standing in a drinking contest involving all of them, including Mustang.  This was easily done because even the finest imported bourbon paled in comparison to the moonshine made on the Briggs Mountain.

Next was to bed all of Madame’s girls in one paid session, and to get at least one of them to call him Roy.  “And just so you know, we’ll all be listening,” Fuery commented.  “The bar is bugged to the teeth and Madame lets me tap the line whenever I feel like it.”  While paying for the girls was no problem (as everyone pitched in on the cost), satisfying four women and getting one of them to call him Roy was certainly a task he didn’t think he could manage.  When he pulled it off at the last minute with the cute blonde with the bobbed haircut, he hoped those listening on the other end were jealous of his skill in bed.

The last task seemed downright impossible: take a picture of Riza’s bare back.

“We know she’s got a tattoo because we’ve seen little pieces of it,” Havoc said quietly as they pretended not to stalk their beloved Hawkeye in a non descript black car.  “All we want is a clear shot of the whole thing.  Should be pretty easy to get,” he said as he flipped his ashes onto the floorboard.  “She doesn’t have curtains or shades on the windows, she just dresses and undresses in the dark.”

“Won’t a flash make her shoot me if I take a picture of her?” Miles asked with a hint of irritation.

“Nope, we have a prototype camera that can take pictures in zero light,” Falman said.  “They say it works with infrared light, which is light on a spectrum we can’t see without special eye gear.”  He handed him a camera.  “This one has been modified with the infrared viewfinder.  Everything will appear to look green, but you should be able to clearly see her skin and the ink.  Just one photo will do.”

Miles took the camera, pulled the black ski mask over his face and slid out of the window to avoid slamming the car door.  He climbed up the fire escape of the building next door, silent as a shadow, and then crept onto the roof and stealthed over to the ledge to get the perfect vantage point.

Placing the camera to his eye, the world lit up in varying shades of green.  He saw the woman getting out of the shower, her back to him but a towel covering it.  He silently cursed and pleaded with God to make her remove the cloth, but instead she moved to another room.

And then he nearly gasped.

This was her bedroom, as indicated by the double sized bed and the pillows… and Mustang lying underneath nothing but a thin sheet, the tent made by his erection visible in the special lens.  Hawkeye smiled at him sweetly, a look he’d never seen the woman make at the office.  Mustang pulled her toward him and they kissed, and it wasn’t long before Hawkeye was working her way under the sheet and climbing on top of him.

Finally the tattoo was visible, but Miles was reluctant to snap the picture.  What was very obviously an alchemic array had been partially burned off.  He saw the remaining hourglass shapes and the salamander from Mustang’s gloves on her back and knew in an instant how deep their connection went.  And as he watched them moving together, he was reminded of several freezing nights he’d spent with his own commanding officer, and was reminded of the promise the Briggs boys made to keep their relationship a secret.  He knew he couldn’t take the picture.  Instead he stashed the camera away and made his way slowly back to the car.

When he climbed back in, Braeda started the engine and they rolled away.  Once they were about a block away, they all started asking him questions about what he’d seen and if he’d gotten the picture.

He slowly pulled the ski mask off and said quietly, “I didn’t take the picture.”

“Why!?” bemoaned Fuery.  “Was she already asleep?”

Miles looked at them.  “I saw it very clearly…  She was- _with someone_.  I couldn’t do it.  I’m sorry.”

The group nodded and Braeda spoke. “Good.  That means you passed.”

Miles was confused.  “I passed?  But I didn’t take the picture…”

“Yup, you passed.”  Havoc passed him a flask of vodka, “We needed to know you could keep their secret.”

“If you’d taken that picture, we would have killed you,” Braeda commented.  And from the way everyone else in the car looked at him, he knew they meant it.

Miles swallowed the alcohol in big gulps, and then he chuckled as he passed the container back to Havoc.  So they already knew.  “I was wrong, you do have the gumption of Briggs’ men.”  He looked down to find Havoc extending his hand to him.  He shook it heartily and smiled.

“Welcome to the family, Miles.”


End file.
